What’s the stars’ secret for keeping beautiful? Lighting? Make-up? The blood of virgins? Legendary Rodgers and Hammerstein ingenue Shirley Jones has the answer in this grenade of a video, tossed during the exercise tape wars of the 1980’s. (I know, I’m obsessed now, but it’s a gift that keeps on giving.)
From what I can tell after watching this soft focus gem, the secret involves a Stepford-like visit to The Palms (a high-end spa or cult compound, hard to tell), brain-constricting headbands and chair exercises that allow you to firm up your posterior–or unobtrusively break wind. And somewhere just after the 3 minute mark, you’ll see something that will make it impossible for you to watch Shirley driving the Partridge Family bus ever again. I think I love you, indeed.
So continue after the jump to see the video, “After all, we’re all guests at The Palms today.”